{"id":5696,"date":"2019-09-16T07:03:00","date_gmt":"2019-09-16T07:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dwp-balkan.org\/staging\/?p=5696"},"modified":"2022-06-15T07:05:29","modified_gmt":"2022-06-15T07:05:29","slug":"drugi-zivot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dwp-balkan.org\/staging\/bs\/drugi-zivot\/","title":{"rendered":"DRUGI \u017dIVOT"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

Pamtim svoje djetinstvo kao ne\u0161to lijepo. Uprkos ratu. Vitko, moj najbolji drug i ja imali smo obi\u010daj da satima \u0161etamo. Upoznavali smo sve sokake i ru\u0161evine na\u0161eg malog grada. Mogli smo satima pri\u010dati o bezveznim stvarima. Ili sjesti na ostatak neke polomljene klupe u zapu\u0161tenom parku i smijati se. Imali smo uvrnute \u0161ale. Oko nas su prolazili vojnici u maskirnim uniformama. Hranu smo dobijali u Crvenom krstu. Odje\u0107a nam nikad nije bila u modi. Bje\u017eali smo sa nastave. Muziku smo slu\u0161ali onda kad ima struje, a to je bilo rijetko. Zato smo zaista u\u017eivali u njoj. Davno prije vremena interneta, kad je sve nadohvat ruke, pojedine pjesme su imale strahovit zna\u010daj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Kad mislim o svojoj pro\u0161losti, poku\u0161avam u sebi da na\u0111em prezir prema kradljivcima svoje mladosti. I ne mogu. Oprostio sam im davno. Mo\u017eda sam lud zbog toga, mo\u017eda mi je to pomoglo da pre\u017eivim. Nije ni va\u017eno.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Sjetim se kako je nebo nad gradom bilo \u010disto. Ili s ponekim bijelim oblakom. Kako je Sava djelovala primamljivo, jer se nismo smjeli kupati u njoj tokom dugih ljetnih vru\u0107ina. Kako su najzad ljeta bila duga i topla. Sjetim se kako su ru\u0161evine, obrasle u sitno drve\u0107e i raslinje, djelovale \u010dudno. Apstraktno. Znali smo \u010dak i da im se divimo. Shvataju\u0107i kako su sile prirode nezaustavljive. Iz asfalta je nicala trava. Penjali smo se na spaljeni skelet gradskog nebodera i odozgo posmatrali panoramu grada. Isku\u0161avali smo hrabrost naginju\u0107i se nad ponor pod nama. \u017divot nam jo\u0161 uvijek nije bio iskvaren pla\u0107anjem ra\u010duna, neotpla\u0107enim kreditima i poslovima na kojima ne\u0107emo biti ni\u0161ta vi\u0161e od obi\u010dnih nepotrebnih to\u010dki\u0107a mehanizma koji nas melje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Sjetim se kad je prvi put u na\u0161 grad do\u0161ao \u201eeurokrem\u201c (u jedinu prodavnicu koja je postojala) i kako smo ga halapljivo mazali po ve\u0107 bajatom hljebu i jeli u slast. Ili prvi sladoled. Ispra\u0107ali smo na\u0161e poznanike na rati\u0161te. Neke od njih tada smo gledali zadnji put. Razmi\u0161ljali smo o tome kako \u0107emo nakon srednje \u0161kole biti mobilisani. I kako \u0107e nam u ruke tutnuti pu\u0161ke. I kako \u0107emo zavr\u0161iti u nekom rovu. Dogovorili smo se. Bio je to onaj bratski dil. Ako neko od nas dvojice slu\u010dajno bude u bezizlaznoj situaciji i desi se da mo\u017ee pasti neprijatelju u ruke, da mu onaj drugi presudi. Osje\u0107ali smo se sigurnije zbog tog dogovora.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            A onda su nas zeznuli. I prekinuli su rat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Sve ru\u017eno sam zaboravio. Ili pustio iz sebe na neke druge na\u010dine. Susreo sam mnoge demone svoje pro\u0161losti. Morao sam da se suo\u010dim sa mnogim svojim strahovima. Ipak, svi su. Na ovaj ili onaj na\u010din. Ne radi se samo o meni. I ne radi se samo o zaboravu. Postojali su trenuci u kojima smo zaista u\u017eivali. Te rijetke sitnice, kad vrijeme stane. Iznenadni ljetni pljusak. Hladna jesenja svitanja. Led koji je iznenada okovao ulice. Bu\u0111enja prije svitanja. Slomljeni ko\u0161 na \u0161kolskom igrali\u0161tu. Tribine obrasle u gustu travu. Decenijama stari grafiti na dotrajalim fasadama koje nestaju pred na\u0161im o\u010dima. Crveni sutoni iznad udaljenih brda. Takve stvari. Nau\u010di\u0161 da ih vidi\u0161. Da ih cijeni\u0161.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Uvijek sam tra\u017eio ne\u0161to. Uvijek je u meni postojala \u010de\u017enje za dva \u017eivota. I kad o sebi mislim kao o nekom drugom, podijeliv\u0161i samog sebe na ne\u0161to \u0161to je trebalo da budem i ono \u0161to sam bio, vidim da u mojim sje\u0107anjima uvijek postoji dovoljno strasti i dovoljno \u010de\u017enje za dvojicu nas. Znao sam da sanjam ljubav i ma\u0161tam o njoj. Znao sam da obo\u017eavam muziku. U vrijeme kad nije bilo ni muzike ni ljubavi. Mogao sam satima da pri\u010dam s Bogom. Na\u0161e samo\u0107e su se razumjele. Svijet je jo\u0161 imao svoje netaknute mirise. Znalo se kako miri\u0161e prolje\u0107e, ljeto, jesen, zima. Ulice su imale svoje boje. Prisvojili smo ih. Do\u017eivjeli smo ih kao svoje. Onda su do\u0161li neki drugi klinci koji nisu razumjeli koliko je taj asfalt, poderan tenkovskim gusjenicama, zapravo \u010daroban. Zato \u0161to je taj drugi \u017eivot bio jedna pru\u017eena \u0161ansa. \u0160ansa za ljubav, sre\u0107u, strast, slobodu. Nikad ne zna\u0161. Darovan je. Do\u0161ao je niotkud.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Grad o kome pri\u010dam odavno nije taj grad. Mi vi\u0161e ne sjedimo na ostacima klupa u zaraslom parku. I bolje je tako. Odavno nismo djeca. Nau\u010dili smo da pla\u0107amo ra\u010dune i da rintamo za to da ih mo\u017eemo platiti. Mnogi moji prijatelji su oti\u0161li odavde. Na ovaj ili onaj na\u010din. S nekima se susretnem. S nekima, makar u snovima. A ne pamtim snove. I ne sje\u0107am se \u0161ta smo tamo pri\u010dali. \u017divot ide. Svijet se kotrlja. \u017divimo u vremenima poslije apokalipse. I super nam je.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Oti\u0161ao sam davno. Vra\u0107am se u taj grad samo u trenucima kad ne\u0161to pi\u0161em. Kad mislim o svojoj pro\u0161losti. I kad, pored svega, shvatam da je iz nekog razloga \u2013 bila lijepa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stevo Grabovac<\/strong> ro\u0111en 1978. u Slavonskom Brodu, \u017eivi u Banjoj Luci. Objavio zbirku pjesama \u201eStanica nepostoje\u0107ih vozova\u201c i roman \u201eMulat albino komarac\u201c.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pamtim svoje djetinstvo kao ne\u0161to lijepo. Uprkos ratu. Vitko, moj najbolji drug i ja imali smo obi\u010daj da satima \u0161etamo. Upoznavali smo sve sokake i ru\u0161evine na\u0161eg malog grada. Mogli smo satima pri\u010dati o bezveznim stvarima. Ili sjesti na ostatak neke polomljene klupe u zapu\u0161tenom parku i smijati se. Imali smo uvrnute \u0161ale. Oko nas su prolazili vojnici u maskirnim […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":5697,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":3,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}","footnotes":""},"categories":[54],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-bhs"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDRUGI \u017dIVOT - DWP-BALKAN<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"DRUGI \u017dIVOT - DWP-BALKAN\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Pamtim svoje djetinstvo kao ne\u0161to lijepo. 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