{"id":7687,"date":"2023-03-27T14:44:26","date_gmt":"2023-03-27T14:44:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dwp-balkan.org\/staging\/?p=7687"},"modified":"2023-04-06T14:31:35","modified_gmt":"2023-04-06T14:31:35","slug":"this-is-unbearable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dwp-balkan.org\/staging\/this-is-unbearable\/","title":{"rendered":"<strong>This is unbearable!<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On 17 February 2023, as Kosovo celebrated its 15th anniversary of independence, a journalist asked people on the street who they thought the central figure of Kosovo was. They all mentioned men, whose names we had all heard before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nobody mentioned Bahrije Kastrati, or any other woman, for that matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I first came across the name Bahrije Kastrati after finishing my studies. Her story left me fascinated, awestruck, but most of all, angry. \u201cThis is unbearable\u201d [K\u00ebshtu nuk durohet] were the words she uttered in March 1981 as she threw away her tray in the students&#8217; cafeteria in Prishtina. In 1981, students initially protested to demand better conditions in the student cafeteria and the dormitories. The Yugoslav police arrested protesters and forcefully dispersed them. Later, this led to massive protests against the overall oppression Kosovo Albanians were facing under Yugoslavia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had heard about the student protests in 1981. It is almost impossible to study at the University of Prishtina and complete one&#8217;s studies here without hearing about those protests. Statues have been erected, books have been written, and streets have been named after both the demonstrations and the protesters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The event and the people had been imprinted in my memory. I regarded the protests as one of the most courageous attempts to put an end to the \u201cunbearable\u201d circumstances Kosovo Albanians were living in. I had heard names too, but I had never heard of Bahrije until my graduation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cThis is unbearable,\u201d I repeated angrily. Realizing that the existence of such a brave woman had been kept from me for so many years left me feeling betrayed, to say the least. I was denied the memory of a woman who left a mark in history and should have left a mark in my upbringing as a woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was denied the right to remember, and most importantly, Bahrije Kastrati was denied her right to be remembered. She was denied her story, and it is unsettling, to say the least, to think of all the stories of women that have been suppressed and denied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I only came across Bahrije Kastrati\u2019s name when I was 21 and working on my Bachelor\u2019s thesis on the topic of women\u2019s rights to inheritance. I was working on a chapter explaining women\u2019s role in Kosovo\u2019s state-building. Today, I wonder why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why did I need to include women\u2019s role in state-building to explain women\u2019s right to inherit? Was it because I was raised to think that one deserves rights only if they have somehow been involved in the struggle that led to Kosovo becoming a state? Or that women are entitled to rights only if they do something to \u2018deserve\u2019 them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That cannot be the case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unfortunately, I realized that this is how the future is shaped \u2013\u2013 by the memories we construct or, to put it more blatantly, the memories we are instructed to construct.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I believe that our memory has been crafted for too long in such way as to isolate women within a very private, even hermetic space, and to trumpet the doings of men. History has been written to erase women \u2013\u2013 it has not merely forgotten them; it has not innocently missed this portion of the past \u2013\u2013 it has deliberately erased them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>By Men for Men<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nearly a decade after I first encountered the name of Bahrije Kastrati, I decided to revisit it. I remembered first reading about her in a book that was relatively peripheral compared to the books that are typically acclaimed as \u201cgood books.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It almost makes logical sense how patriarchy functions \u2013\u2013 keep women\u2019s names somewhere where only who looks really hard can find them. But let\u2019s keep them out of classrooms, history books, and newspapers. This, too, is patriarchy. This, too, is misogyny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As the Croatian writer Dubravka Ugre\u0161i\u0107 points out: \u201c\u2026for centuries now, with thunderous noise, shouts, growls, and vocalizing, they [men] have forced us to listen\u201d (Ugre\u0161i\u0107, 2020). The very same men have also forced us to look the other way. But it is high time that this changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is time that we do not look the other way when it comes to acknowledging women\u2019s role. To do this, we must begin by revisiting our memories, recreating them for ourselves, and then help others make different memories \u2013\u2013 ones that do not perpetuate exclusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">First, we must constantly maintain and express a dose of skepticism regarding the history we are taught. We need to ask, \u201cWho wrote this history?\u201d The positionality of those that got to tell the story matters in how the story is told and what the story produces afterwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We must actively tell our stories. We need to \u201cwear our medals\u201d (Alexievich, 2018) and do all this knowing that for too long, \u201cwe were robbed of our victories\u201d (Alexievich, 2018), and history has indeed been, HIStory. We must continue documenting the stories of women who were here before us, and this can start with listening to our mothers, aunts, grandmothers and understanding their role as a political one. Lastly, those who have the resources \u2013\u2013 donors, governments, organizations \u2013\u2013 must support these documentations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the name of unlearning, I went back to Bahrije Kastrati\u2019s name and searched for it on Google. I got no results. I tried using keywords like \u201cdemonstrations\u201d + \u201c1981\u201d + \u201cwomen\u201d + \u201cstudents\u201d, but still found nothing. I even searched on Facebook and Twitter, but with no success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nearly a decade later, I found myself in a position where I had to scour through texts and posts to find a woman\u2019s name. It felt like searching for a needle in a haystack. We are trapped within a patriarchal way of constructing memory that makes us think women were never here. Or at least, we are made to believe that women belong in the periphery, in the shadows, in a section of the library that no one checks. Our memory is deliberately being constructed in a way that maintains the status-quo of patriarchy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What is happening today is proof of that. Both institutions and the society at large show their reluctance to recognize women\u2019s rightful place in history. Today we still witness that when it comes to real things, patriarchy triumphs over justice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of 477 streets in Prishtina, only 11 are named after women (Municipality of Prishtina). That accounts for just over 2% of all the streets in Kosovo\u2019s capital city. This means that the chance of walking on a street named after a woman is slim; one may never experience it. I once walked by \u201cGanimete T\u00ebrbeshi\u201d, and the excitement I felt was akin to the thrill of seeing something very extraordinary, very surreal. The same applies to statutes or sculptures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In 2015, the \u201cHeroinat\u201d memorial was built, marking one step toward recognizing women. However, to truly honor their struggles, sufferings, and contributions, more needs to be done. We have witnessed that more can be done. More has been done to celebrate men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being made to feel this kind of excitement for seeing a woman\u2019s name on a street or a woman\u2019s name on a statue is a symptom of patriarchy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We are not simply led to think women did not do anything. We are instructed to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What did women have to do to be recognized? They fought. They cooked. They cleaned. They protested. They fed. They raised. They sang. They resisted. They shone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What do women have to do now to be recognized? They fight. They cook. They clean. They protest. They feed. They raise. They sing. They shine. They resist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And they do prevail. Sooner or later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In times of crisis and unrest, women are invoked as \u201cour mothers\u201d, \u201cour sisters\u201d, and \u201cour daughters\u201d \u2013\u2013 even \u201cour honor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMotherland\u201d and \u201cmaternal duty\u201d, as feminist scholar Cynthia Enloe notes, are heralded as public duties, as \u201cnational activity\u201d (Enloe, 2000), and as patriotic in times of war. In peacetime, the \u201cmotherland\u201d quickly becomes \u201cfatherland\u201d. That is when we realize once again that when it comes to triumphing on the race of \u201cbeing remembered\u201d, \u201cmothering\u201d becomes a domestic, private, and inessential \u201csacrifice\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In peacetime, just as in wartime, women struggle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Women in Kosovo today inherit only between 14-17% of the property, a percentage that has not improved in almost a decade since I was working on my thesis. History has stagnated when it comes to serving women. But it has not stagnated in attempts to instrumentalize them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is time to stop instrumentalizing \u201cour mothers\u201d and \u201cour sisters\u201d as tools to boost men\u2019s self-triumphant rhetoric and to build a better image of a man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recognizing women is recognizing justice and relinquishing privilege. A big portion of justice is to not make a woman feel like a thief when she is accessing her right to take what is rightfully hers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By recognizing this, we also recognize the right of another woman to actually feel like she belongs, to feel like she does not have to fight her way up. It means creating room for history to be more just and for memories to be inclusive, as they should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Today, many women in Kosovo are being sexually harassed, raped, and even murdered, while the institutions supposed to protect them sit watching \u2013\u2013 silently, looking the other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The streets are exclusionary, both symbolically \u2013\u2013 with most of them being named after men \u2013\u2013 and literally \u2013\u2013 women are not safe in them. Every time women make an effort to break the walls of the private and be present in public, they face violent responses. Women are not welcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">According to a report by QIKA, 165 cases of gender-based violence against women were reported in January this year alone. Behind each of those 165 cases is a man. The victim is a woman with a name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We begin and end each year with femicides. We ended 2022 with the murder of Hamide Magashi right outside the hospital where she was about to give birth. Instead of taking clear steps against femicide and calling it by its name, Kosovo\u2019s Prime Minister instrumentalized it for another nationalistic statement: \u201cTwo Albanian less, what must our enemies be thinking.\u201d<br>Once again, women become part of the discussion when men need to make a point about themselves. Patriarchy again extends some \u201ccharity\u201d to women when it needs them to maintain itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Femicide too is a result of male entitlement. This entitlement is fostered by being taught that men own history and that women have only been accessories, not worthy of a paragraph, statue, medals, or space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unlearning takes much longer than learning. It requires effort and intentionality to open those books on the periphery and strength to dismantle a system that has been built for so long. Undoing what has already been done takes a lot, as it requires courage to question what we are taught and what memories are we are served. It takes bravery to actively stand against a system crafted so meticulously to serve men and oppress women, and it takes sacrifice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Women in Kosovo are once again demonstrating that they have what it takes. They are responding as they always have, by speaking up and taking to the streets, holding each other\u2019s arms, remembering, unlearning, and helping others unlearn. They are paving the way for justice and unapologetically taking what is theirs, what has been stolen from them for too long: the right to be remembered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They are repeating after Bahrije Kastrati, \u201cThis is unbearable\u201d, and like her, we are throwing away whatever is standing in our way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong>Aulon\u00eb Kadriu<\/strong> is an editor at Kosovo-based online magazine Kosovo 2.0. She has a Bachelor\u2019s degree in Political Science from the University of Prishtina, and a graduate certificate in women, gender, and sexuality studies from the University of Kansas, U.S. Her work and research interests include the relationship of gender with war and nationalism, rigid and violent masculinities, gender and social justice.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Bibliography:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Alexievich, S. (2018). The Unwomanly Face of War: An Oral History of Women in World War II. United Kingdom: Random House Publishing Group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Enloe, C. (2000). Maneuvers: The International Politics of Militarizing Women&#8217;s Lives. United States: University of California Press.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ugre\u0161i\u0107, D. (2020). The Age of Skin. United States: Open Letter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Qendra p\u00ebr Informim, Kritik\u00eb dhe Aksion (2023). P\u00ebrgjat\u00eb muajit janar jan\u00eb raportuar 165 raste t\u00eb dhun\u00ebs n\u00eb baz\u00eb gjinore ndaj grave dhe vajzave. Last accessed on March 2, 2023. Accessible via: https:\/\/qika.org\/pergjate-muajit-janar-jane-raportuar-165-raste-te-dhunes-ne-baze-gjinore-ndaj-grave-dhe-vajzave\/<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Municipality of Prishtina. List of streets\u2019 names. Last accessed on March 2, 2023. Accessible via: https:\/\/prishtinaonline.com\/uploads\/lista_e_emertimeve_te_rrugeve_te_prishtines1.pdf<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On 17 February 2023, as Kosovo celebrated its 15th anniversary of independence, a journalist asked people on the street who they thought the central figure of Kosovo was. They all mentioned men, whose names we had all heard before. Nobody mentioned Bahrije Kastrati, or any other woman, for that matter. I first came across the name Bahrije Kastrati after finishing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":7688,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}","footnotes":""},"categories":[1074],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-balkan-perspectives-22-en"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>This is unbearable! - DWP-BALKAN<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This is unbearable! - DWP-BALKAN\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"On 17 February 2023, as Kosovo celebrated its 15th anniversary of independence, a journalist asked people on the street who they thought the central figure of Kosovo was. 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I first came across the name Bahrije Kastrati after finishing [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/dwp-balkan.org\/staging\/this-is-unbearable\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"DWP-BALKAN\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-03-27T14:44:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-04-06T14:31:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/dwp-balkan.org\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/BPP22-KOS-Aulone-Kadriu-Pic-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Vojvoda\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vojvoda\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"10 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/this-is-unbearable\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/this-is-unbearable\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Vojvoda\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/d093aa3a1785f571f1c01565fa9b1597\"},\"headline\":\"This is unbearable!\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-03-27T14:44:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-04-06T14:31:35+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/this-is-unbearable\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":2089,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/this-is-unbearable\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/03\\\/BPP22-KOS-Aulone-Kadriu-Pic-scaled.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Balkan.Perspectives #22\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/this-is-unbearable\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/dwp-balkan.org\\\/staging\\\/this-is-unbearable\\\/\",\"name\":\"This is unbearable! 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They all mentioned men, whose names we had all heard before. Nobody mentioned Bahrije Kastrati, or any other woman, for that matter. 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